Regardless of whether the relationship was romantic in nature or not, it isn’t always easy to end it with someone. However, in a romantic setup, it is all the more difficult and tricky to deal with. No matter who breaks up with whom, both parties will inevitably be hurt and feel a sense of loss. Some people might assume that only the one being broken up with feels that pain and loss, but that’s not exactly true.
Breaking up is probably one of the hardest things to do, especially if you’ve been with your partner for a long while. Moreover, it is even harder to go through a break up without hurting your partner’s feelings. In this article, you will read about recommendations and tips on how to end a relationship as kindly as possible. Here are certain choices that you can make to help soften the blow and possibly lessen the pain that you might cause to your partner.
Make Sure to Break Up as Soon as You Feel That You No Longer Want to Be in the Relationship
If you know in your heart that you no longer feel the same way or no longer have feelings for your partner, the best thing that you can do is to end the relationship right away. Being indecisive and postponing the inevitable won’t get you anywhere. In fact, it will eventually cause the relationship between the two of you to weaken and lead to fights in the future.
Make Sure That You Really Want to Break Up
Before actually breaking up with someone, make sure that it’s what you really want. Nothing is more awkward and unpleasant than to break up with someone and then come back like nothing has happened. It is best to think things through before going through with the breakup. To help you decide, you can talk to “neutral” friends who can offer unbiased opinions and suggestions.
Make Sure to Break Up in Person
Whether you’ve been together for four months or four years, nothing is more important than breaking up with someone face-to-face. Breaking up with someone through text, instant messaging, or e-mail is unacceptable. In fact, they aren’t even considered as options. Let the other person know that they were once important to you and that you still respect them by actually saying it to their face that you now want to end things with them. You wouldn’t want to inflict unnecessary pain and confusion to your partner by being cowardly and irresponsible.
Make Sure to Time it Right
The truth is that there is no perfect time to break up with anyone. However, there is such a thing as finding the right time to talk about it. You don’t want to break up with your partner when there is a recent loss in the family or after a tragic incident. Wait until your partner isn’t particularly stressed or troubled. Don’t make your partner feel worse than he or she is already feeling.
Make Sure to Focus More on Your Feelings and Thoughts instead of Hers
It’s more like saying “It’s not you, it’s me.” However, you don’t have to say those words exactly. Focus on the things that you feel and think that led you to that decision. By doing that you’re asserting yourself and not giving the other person a chance to argue with what you are saying. Be perfectly clear and firm about your reasons and try to avoid being vague. Be honest.
If you have to talk about your partner, focus on the good things. Don’t ever insult or undervalue your partner. Even if you have to end things now, it doesn’t change the fact that he or she was important to you before. Some of you may even be in an abusive relationship and want to retaliate, but, please, don’t ever do it. You can insult your partner, complain about a lot of things, or even hash out the bad parts of the relationship, but it won’t really change anything. So, try to show some respect, care, and appreciation for him or her at that moment.
Make Sure to Remain Sensitive to Your Partner’s Feelings
Once you’ve laid out everything on the table and your partner starts to speak, try to just listen and avoid defending yourself. Before you say anything else, hear everything that your partner has to say first. If a question is asked, make sure to answer as clearly and honestly as you can.
Also, it wouldn’t hurt to ask your partner’s perspective about the breakup. You might even be surprised to know that you both feel the same way about it.
After all is said and done, there really is no one right way to break up with someone. Of course, you have to consider the feelings of the other person, but you don’t have to do it at the expense of your own feelings and happiness. So, remember all these things and start that conversation with your partner.