Kids can be a pain in the ass most of the times. However, no matter how naughty or annoying they can get, we still love them all the same. I guess it’s because we are parents, and it’s embedded in our minds and hearts to love our kids no matter what. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that we have to put up with their tantrums almost every single day.
When your child was still a toddler, he or she probably cried, screamed or kicked things. Now that your child is a teenager, he or she is probably slamming doors and screaming “Get away from me!”
If you’re currently struggling in dealing with your teenager’s tantrums, here are some advice and useful tips for you:
Tell your teen how his or her behavior influence how you play your role
Make your teen understand how he or she behaves can have an effect on your parenting. For instance, if your teen acts in a rather polite and obedient way, then you can have more confidence and start to back off on being too strict. You can trust that he or she will remain well-behaved even in your absence.
However, if your teen continues to misbehave and not follow rules, then you will inevitably be more demanding and harsher. Let your child know that betraying your trust can possibly mean that he or she will lose your trust forever.
Teach your teen how to accept the word “no”
Teach your teen how to accept it when you say “no” and not make a big deal out of it. Make him or she understand that he or she won’t always get everything. There are times when we don’t get what we want, and we have to deal with that. Make your teen understand that notion.
When your child can learn how to deal with situations like this in a graceful manner, it creates a positive vibe with you, as a parent, as well.
Try to see things from a broad perspective
Understand that teenagers usually express their thoughts, anger, and frustration in a different way compared to adults. They don’t really hate you per se. They just happen to vent their pent-up anger, and you just happen to be there.
Try to see things in this perspective and not take it too personally. Doing this can really help you in a big way.
Make them feel that you are always there to listen
This is a tested-and-proven approach when dealing with kids, not just teenagers. Children usually crave for attention from their parents, even if they don’t really say it.
Therefore, no matter how angry or frustrated you become, always give them an opportunity to talk to you.
Focus on the behavior and not the child
Remember that it’s the behavior that’s unpleasant and not the child. It can be pretty tricky to do, but try to make it clear to your teen that you won’t tolerate his or her bad behavior. At the same time, make sure that your teen knows just how much they mean to you.
As a parent, I know that we sometimes make mistakes. However, as much as possible, avoid letting your emotions get the better of you and tell your child that he or she is bad. Even though you didn’t mean it, your words can create a negative self-image in your teen’s mind.
Remember that not every child is the same
I’m pretty sure you’ve already heard of this hackneyed saying “No two people are exactly alike.” On a similar note, I think that no child reacts in exactly the same way as another child. So, an approach that works well with one child may not work at all with another.
In that case, forcing your child will only make things worse. Let him or her vent for now and give it some time. Maybe all you really need to do is to give your child some space.
Yes, there are times when you think like things are getting out of hand and that nothing you say or do is getting through to them. Don’t give up. Continue being there for them and letting them know that whatever they are struggling with, you’re in it together. Sometimes children – whether it’s a toddler, a child or a teenager – all they really need is their parent’s undivided attention and love. Sometimes it’s all about being there for them no matter what.