Perhaps one of the most unfortunate things about relationships is that they don’t come with a manual that teaches us how to particularly troubleshoot them.
Sometimes certain signs show up that eventually turn out to be the foreshadowing of the end of our relationships. And we realize too late that if only we had noticed them we would have been able to take proactive actions to prevent them.
Thankfully, though, it is not too late most times and it is never a waste to learn how to identify these signs so as to be able to course-correct in the future. Here are five of them and how they can help us avoid making the same mistakes again:
The distance can at the same time be a good thing and a terrible thing in a relationship. It can be a good thing if it is done in such a way as to bring the partners to close together. How did you ask? Well, an example is taking a break to focus on yourself. Once you start to feel suffocated by your partner this is a sign that there is a need for distance – the good kind that will ultimately strengthen your relationship.
The distance can also be a bad thing, however, when you feel your partner receding from you unnecessarily. This is a sign that proactive actions have to be taken to rekindle the missing essence that is causing the distance.
There is perhaps no tool in a relationship that is as important as communication. If there is any way to troubleshoot a relationship and learn what the actual trouble is, it is via communication – whatever kind you may choose.
It is also what brings two people closer together. When you feel that you and your partner are communicating less than you used to, you should know that that is a sign that the relationship is heading towards dark times. And that you should take as many measures as possible to find a way back to the better days.
Traditions are one of the most interesting parts of a relationship. They keep the flame burning. Most relationships that have lasted long enough would always have picked up certain quirks and events that have become a sort of tradition that the partners keep doing religiously.
Once you notice these traditions are starting to die out, and either of you does not pay attention to observing them anymore, it is almost always – not quite all the time, mind you – but almost always a sign of decline.
Arguments are alright in a relationship. Everybody has them, and it is actually more of a sign of a healthy relationship than a sign of a dwindling one.
What is not healthy, though, is the little argument, especially those that go unresolved. Once the little things like leaving the door open or leaving the toilet to sit the wrong way start to become an argument, you should understand that something is wrong and a course correction is needed as soon as possible.
Talk it out, try to find out what the underlying cause is exactly and resolve it as fast as you can.
Planning trips and planning events together are a sign of a healthy relationship. Ideally, this shouldn’t be forced, and it should be something that both partners agree upon naturally. Once you start to disagree with your partner on this, and once when you finally make the appointment, one party starts coming up with excuses as to why they didn’t show up, this is usually a sign that the spirit of companionship and togetherness is starting to leave the relationship.
It shows that the partner in question is starting to feel more and more inclined towards individualistic tendencies and it is at this point – as early as possible – that a course correction should be made.
Keeping a healthy relationship is an act that is both conscious and unconscious at the same time. This is why it is hard sometimes to determine when the relationship is not going the way it should. And this is why you should try to be as conscious as possible, to notice and understand what is happening and identify the little signs listed above.